Meeting Readings

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Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

Am I a Sex Addict?

Sex addiction can involve a wide variety of practices. Sometimes an addict has trouble with just one unwanted behavior, sometimes with many. A large number of sex addicts say their unhealthy use of sex has been a progressive process. It may have started with an addiction to masturbation, pornography, or a relationship, but over the years progressed to increasingly dangerous behaviors.

The essence of all addiction is the experience of powerlessness over a behavior, resulting in unmanageability. The addict is out of control and experiences tremendous shame, pains and self-loathing. The addict may wish to stop acting out – making promises and many attempts to stop – yet repeatedly fails to do so. The unmanageability of an addict’s life can be seen in the consequences suffered: loss of relationships, difficulties with work, arrests, financial troubles, a loss of interest in things not sexual, low self-esteem and despair.

Twelve Steps Of SAA

Twelve Steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous are suggested steps, adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous, that help us recover from obsessive and compulsive sexual behavior. Having this limited amount of material to work with is a real advantage for those of us who tend to complicate our lives. The Twelve Steps are very powerful and versatile tools - simple and straightforward enough to help the new member, yet with enough substance that old-timers can always gain new insights.

The Twelve Steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

Following the Steps in the order in which they are presented helped us greatly, especially when we first began. Being compulsive people, we always wanted to reach our goals and "fix" things immediately. But if we can honestly face our problems, and are willing to change, the Twelve Steps of SAA will lead to an awakening that allows us to live a new way of life according to spiritual principles. Taking these steps allows fundamental change to occur in our lives. They are the foundation of our recovery. (adapted from SAA green book)

What Is Sexual Sobriety?

Sexual sobriety is living without engaging in addictive sexual behavior. Our experience is that behaviors that are addictive for some individuals are not addictive for others. Sobriety in SAA does not refer to the elimination of sexuality from our lives, although there are some who choose celibacy for long or short experiences of time. Sexual sobriety means not engaging in addictive sexual behaviors, which is caused our lives to become unmanageable.

The Ottowa Promises

Through a renewed Relationship with God/our Higher Power, the healing force of recovery will take hold in our hearts. By giving ourselves over to God/our Higher Power and working our program, our lives will become manageable and we will be restored to sanity. We will receive the inner strength and support needed to face our anxieties and fears, and to deal with the painful feelings that feed our addiction.

Relations with Others will improve as we learn to respect our boundaries and allow others freedom to be themselves. Reaching out in trust and connecting with others will come easier, dispelling our sense of isolation and loneliness. Degrading fantasies and obsessive sexual thinking will diminish. Relating to Ourselves, self absorption will give way to self-discovery; secrecy to honesty; feelings of unworthiness to dignity; and shame to grace. A restored integrity will guide our behavior. We will feel more alive and regain a sense of happiness. We will hear ourselves laugh again and rediscover play. We will embrace change and will grow.

A Spiritual Awakening will free us from the tyranny of our addiction. An awareness of being guided by a Higher Power and supported by caring friends will sustain us. Regret for the past and worry for the future will give way to living for today. We will open ourselves to the amazing possibilities of a life worth living our life.

Are these extravagant promises? (Altogether)

WE THINK NOT!

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.